The kindness of strangers

Today I witnessed the kindness of strangers a couple of times, and it felt as beautiful as always.

I tend to forget this feeling, but life somehow unravels it under my eyes, everytime I forget about it. This kind of beauty never ages or fades. But it always surprises me in such a warm, fuzzy way.

I saw it in the morning, in the eyes of a homeless old man, feeding his two dogs. His house was his small bag and of course, his two dogs were his family.

He was looking at them, like a man in love with the world, with a big sparkle of love in his eyes. Like this life has giving him all he ever needed. Like all the beauty in the world was there, laying under his eyes. Everything was sufficient. He didn t need anything else. He had his two little ‘boys’ with him, so he could have conquered the whole world anytime.

I never felt that way, it was such an unknowing feeling for me. I always need something. I always think that I can do better/ have better stuff in my life.

Sufficiency is so rare…

So I stood there and watched him caressing those cute puppies, like nothing in the world mattered anymore. I couldn t leave. I was stuck and mesmerised, in the same time. I was thinking to myself that when I get home I have a lot of food, that I have the luxury to even choose what I want to eat.

He did not.

And it felt sad, like it always does when I see homeless people. But this time was a bit different. He was not sad, he did not ask for food or money, like the others do. He just wanted to share his smile and his story.

Who was I to say no to that? I did not.

I went and bought some food, nothing much, just for a meal and some bread. When I gave it to him, he said that I shouldn t do that, that he always manages to provide for his little family.

I almost started crying. I can t describe that feeling. I felt sorry for him, but in the same time, I felt pride, because he was trying, he did not give up, he was still fighting.

He started to eat, but not before he took the bread and shared all of it with his family. The dogs ate it with such an appetite and such gratitude. They knew their dad always takes care of them, no matter what.

I had under my eyes, the very best portrait of a small loving family, but most of all, the portrait of a loving and caring father.

The love they shared was out of this world. I left crying, thinking I have much more, but I don t give this Universe the same gratitude they do, and I felt ashamed.

Lesson learned, dear Universe.

Promise I’ll do better, and I hope when I don t, you ll be there to share with me another emotional lesson as you did today.


I guess a lot of us don t know how beautiful this life can be if we’d just accept everything as it is, or just stop comparing ourselves with the people who have more than we do, rather than the people who don t.

Reclame

2019, so to speak..

I have not written a word in one year and a half. Tried to, but didn t work at all.

I felt stuck on so many levels.. I guess I still am, in some sort of way…and I keep thinking why. I don t have a specific answer to that question, only some clues. Or maybe I got used to ignore some parts of my mind a little too well and focused on new ones. Healthy in some way, but in others, not that healthy..

They say you re stuck for a reason, and that you should dig deeper so you can be able to learn the lesson and to make sure you don t end up in the same place. Evolving is not an easy process. Sometimes it s forced, coming out of nowhere, or it can hit you in your face when you least expect it. It can be uncomfortable, unwanted, difficult to accept it. But who are we, to question life/destiny/God ?

Sometimes I feel we are so tiny, so insignificant in this universe..

Life feels such a heavy burden sometimes. We try so hard to do it justice, to honour it, to cherish it, to live it. To make sure we were not here for nothing.

For me, that s the heaviest burden- to make sure I leave something significant behind me; something that matters, that s gonna help others, at least on a little scale.

I noticed a lot of people write about what they are grateful for, after a long year. They all have big, gracious, grateful lists with big soft ”thank you”s . I do to, it s just a bit different..

They are grateful for the people present in their lives, I am too, but I’m also grateful for some people who left. I’ve learned what I needed to learn from them, and at some point I guess that s the healthy thing to do- move on.

For me personally, it’s not a natural thing- letting go of people, places, memories, but I guess I do have to learn how to do it. If not, there s always this omniscient teacher that we call life, that s gonna make me learn it somehow.

The last year has definitely changed me to the point that I barely recognise myself, in both good and bad ways. And I feel that this process continues, even that I don’t want it to. It s something that I can t control, but I m not sure I want to control it. For the first time in my life I m letting things take their natural course.

It s scary, but exciting in the same time.

I ve never felt that I am destined to have a normal life. I don t know what kind of arguments I could have to sustain this sentence. It s just a feeling.

It s kind of a whisper from my very chameleonic soul.

Isn t it beautiful ? How the soul dictates your life ? After all, if the soul feels the happiness, then your whole body embraces the warmth of that happiness.


Don’t wander away from yourself

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn t mean leaning ,and company doesn t always mean security.

And you learn that kisses aren’t contracts, and presents aren’t promises .

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you plan to build all your roads for today, because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans, and the future has a way of falling down in  mid flight.

After a while you understand that even sunshine burns, if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn to endure, to get stronger.

You learn what you’re worth, and you learn, you learn, with every goodbye, you learn even more.

Don’t wander away from yourself, just to get close to someone else.

You are your home..

Your body,who you are, is the only house you will ever truly own, your greatest treasure.

Maybe it has some broken windows ,and there are  some tear- stains on the floor .

Maybe you lock some things you’re ashamed of, behind some doors , but hey, there’s wisdom on its bookshelves, and a laugh to light the rooms.

There’s a vase upon the table, where all the love you grew blooms day by day.

Dreams sit in the balcony, ready to fly .

The kindness and the empathy are in the usual place, but there’s no time  to  collect dust, because you use them so often.

So don’t look at mansions, with envy in your eyes .

There’s more to make a home, than its appearance or its size.

Your body is your shelter, so you deserve to love it all.

Don’t let the world stay round outside and tell you how to paint your walls. Don t let them redecorate or tell you what paintings you should put on.

Just feel lucky that you have a place to protect you from the night and the dark.

And if there’s cracks left from the past ,well ..then they just let in more light.

Fireflies going through my mind..

Innocent pink , magnolias , sunny weather and a little wind.

And friends, and deep conversations about stuff.

Stuff like relationships, lifepurposes, future, goals and wishes .

Today was about those, and it felt good.

It wasn’ t just about those things, but the feeling mostly ..

Spring  is about fresh beginings ,white flowers ,  new chances , new plans , secrets, people,  adventures and sweet scents.

It’s that time when even problems and bad things don’t seem that big or hard to get through.

It’s one glimpse more of positivity and harmony.

It’s a new pact with the universe about an old promise taken again into account.

About giving your best .

About sharing and caring more.

And a sweet smile thinking and planning all of it.

 

It’s one day, or day one, you choose..

Azi esti tanar, viata iti surade , timpul e de partea ta, inca nu ti-a declarat razboi, inca nu ai pierdut razboiul.Esti inca in putere, dornic de toti si de toate. Si parca nu se mai termina, parca ai impresia ca mereu va fi asa. Iar daca iti trece prin cap vreun gand ancorat in realitate ,cum ca nu va fi asa mereu, il ignori si intri in starea de negare.

Avem curaj uneori sa acceptam totusi ca  timpul nu e nelimitat si nu e la discretia noastra. Si te gandesti..

Cum ar fi, ca in fiecare dimineata sa te trezesti cand rasare soarele, sa savurezi o cafea aromata, zambind si planificand toate activitatile pe ziua respectiva? Sa iti faci o lista cu ce faci azi si la sfarsitul zilei sa ai satisfactia si implinirea ca ai bifat macar 80% din lista ?

Sa stii ca azi ai facut un lucru bun , sau un lucru important pentru tine, pentru ceea ce reprezinti tu ca individ inzestrat cu capacitatea de a alege, sa simti ca esti mandru de tine, sa iti creasca stima de sine macar cu 1 procent , sa vizualizezi viitorul mai clar si cat mai in favoarea ta, a viselor tale?

Este o alegere! Nu o intamplare, nu vine de la sine. Tu alegi cum iti petreci fiecare zi in parte.

Alege azi! Nu maine. Pentru ca maine se va transforma usor usor in ‘niciodata ‘ sau in ‘rar’, sau in ‘poate’ ..

Iar regretul va fi pe masura alegerilor.

Cum ar fi, sa poti influenta in bine macar 1 persoana pe zi ? Sa deschizi ochii cuiva care ii deschide rar si greu, sa ajuti pe cineva caruia ii este greu pe cont propriu, sau sa zambesti doar pentru ca persoanele dragi tie, iti zambesc inapoi ?

Pentru ca asta conteaza cu adevarat de fapt.

Cand moare cineva in jurul tau si mergi pe ultimul drum cu el/ea, nu te gandesti la canapeaua lui scumpa din piele din camera de zi, costumul de colectie pe care obisnuia sa l poarte, sau parada-i de pantofi frumosi.

Iti aduci aminte cum te-a influentat persoana respectiva,si ce amprenta ti-a lasat .Daca te-a tratat cu amabilitate sau cu rautate, te-a invatat ceva util sau nu , te-a invidiat sau te-a ajutat, te-a sustinut la nevoie sau te-a dezamagit? Asta lasi in urma de fapt ca om-o amprenta psihologica cu ramuri concrete sau cu rani adanci.

It’s one day, or day one, you choose..

When something is broken, fix it..?

When something is broken, fix it. That’s what we’re always told, isn’t it?

But, what if that isn’t the answer? What if it’s better to cut our losses in search of something better and more rewarding?

If You Have To Force It, Leave It Alone: Not Everyone You Lose Is A Loss

 
Loss can be one of the most painful feelings to endure but over time, the pain lessens and our eyes are opened to the fact that we don’t actually need that person anymore.

It might not seem like it at the time, but good things end so great things can happen.We, as individuals, have the mental capacity to judge who has a positive impact on our lives, meaning someone can only be defined as a loss if we choose to define them as one.

Regardless of the circumstances, everything happens for a reason. Even though it might not seem like it at the time, there’s an explanation as to why that person isn’t in our lives anymore.

It might bring sadness, heartache and regret, but each loss takes us on a journey which makes us stronger.

Picking up the pieces, planting a smile on our faces and finding comfort in the fact that things will get better is the first step toward learning to be truly happy on our own. Because, what’s the point in wasting our time and energy on people who aren’t worthy ?

And we need to stop worrying, and believe that things will be okay in the end. If things aren’t okay, it’s not the end.

If someone doesn’t treat us how we deserve, we shouldn’t accept their behavior just because it’s what we think we deserve. We don’t have to settle.

People have an unhealthy habit of hurting the ones closest to them, but we can choose not to fall victim to that. We don’t have to deal with being in a constant state of angst or worry.

Our bodies pick up vibrations, and if something deep inside us says something isn’t right about a situation or a person, we need to trust it. Acting on gut feeling and intuition instead of emotion and persuasion is the best way to decide who can stay and who needs to go.

While it’s hard to accept that not everyone who enters our life is meant to stay, we as human beings are built to encounter new people. We’re designed to explore, discover and grow, and not be held back by people who don’t have the same capacity as us.

So when we feel like we’re falling apart, we need to remind ourselves how that person made us feel. Not when we were naively content, but when we were aching  and confused.

Life is too short to be anything but happy, so we need to learn to surround ourselves with people who matter. We either grow with, or grow apart from people, and if it doesn’t feel right, it might be best to let it go.

People will become strangers and distant memories, but we don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from our lives.

Nobody has the right to infect us with negativity and doubt. There will come a point in life when we’ll get tired of having to prove ourselves and we’ll get bored of trying to fix things.

It’s not giving up; it’s realizing we deserve more. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting ourselves first for once, and the sooner we do that, the better.

Because, after all, our broken moments don’t define us. It’s how we deal with them that does.